Kids. School. Move. Don't move. Gym. Boot camp. Shopping. Bills. Jobs. Go back to work? Don't go back to work? Husband. Church. Friends. Return phone calls. Bills. Modeling. New shoes. Haircuts. Parents. Beach. Surf camps. Am I fast enough? Doing this right? Good enough? Gas. Go or not go? Get it or not get it? Do or not do it? Baths. Showers. Dinner. Lunch. Snacks. Blah blah blah! We all have things running thru our heads. We all have "stress". We all have choices, decisions and things to do! This week I learned a lot about how much our mind controls our health. On Tuesday, I went running on the bridge here in Sarasota. It was HOT! But we push thru because I had the best cheerleaders! However, before getting there it was like pulling teeth. My middle daughter didn't want to go. We fought all the way there. However, she ran the whole way! Cheering me on! It not only changed my mood but hers. Later, I had a training session. My stomach hurt BAD! Normally I would cancel but I told myself, go you need to do this. I am so glad I went. It push me mentally more then physically. I needed that kind of push. I came home and napped for 2 hours after that!!! I have not done that in years!! I awoke as a new person with a fresh mind. I knew my body was telling me, I need to relax. Thursday, ab boot camp was TOUGH! I cried in class for real. I cried on the way home. I cried in the shower. I wanted to quit! I was hoping maybe one of the kids would come running out screaming they were bleeding! I was hoping I get a phone call that I had to come home! Or maybe someone else would be in so much pain like me and we had to cancel class! Seriously it was tough! But really it was tough on my head, not abs. I wasn't focusing. I wasn't putting 100% positive mindset into myself. I was to busy complaining in my head that I was hot, I can't do this, my legs hurt, my kids are driving me crazy, where should we live, blah blah blah... However, somewhere towards end of class, I saw everyone dropping like flies (thank god it wasn't just me!), I thought no I won't be that person. I'm not that person anymore. I need to finish this and finish strong. 6 min plank at the end, really Stephen! Just what I needed for that mental push those last 6 minutes. Then today, I had to get my last workout in for the week. I was to run. I started to but I was running because I saw other friends post their running times and I always feel I need to beat those times or get as many miles in. Then it hit me, stop comparing yourself. You are not them. I've been up since 4:30 am, went to work, drove an hour to Tampa, sat around at model casting for 3 hours, drove back from Tampa, came home, did some research, help with dinner, and now I gotta run. I didn't need to run. I needed to walk. Clear my head. Get ready for the upcoming week. So what if I did 2 miles in 30 minutes.? Other people are eating ice cream and wasting 30 minutes on pointless things. Tonight jog/walk just remind me it does not matter how strong or how big your muscles are. It's your mind that controls your actions, your achievements, and accomplishments! Not your muscles, not your weight, not your speed and not your distance.
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I don't just want to talk about running since this blog is about journeys. Mostly the journey from being overweight to hopefully fit and lean! I am still consider overweight. I try to not focus on my weight and more on the Body Fat % but that's a whole different blog ;) People ask ALL the time, how do you do it! I can only tell you that it doesn't take over night or a magic pill. It requires you to get up and MOVE. When I started my journey I was 276 pounds. I didn't think I was THAT What started my journey was my dad (he will disagree!) saying something on Hole 1 at Paint Creek Golf course. I will never forget it or the outfit I was wearing. Or the BLUE skies! Lets just say it was enough for me to not want to golf the rest of the course and get home to cry. Instead, it motivated me. I knew that was my wake up call. I started out with I asked a good friend to join the gym with me and to sign up for a kick boxing class. From there I met a guy name Adam Spencer. One thing lead to another, he got me into kick boxing then he told us we should sign up for group personal training. I am so thankful for that. We had so much fun and got fit together. It changed our friendship. Then I had a wedding I was standing up in, so I asked Adam to kick up my training and do one on one. For the 1st time I started to see changes and actually had someone believe in me (who knows it could had been for the I had a great time training with Adam, however we moved from MI to WA and I had to say bye. When we moved, my life took a little adjusting. No family around. It was for the 1st time just Dave, our 2 girls and myself! Not to mention my 1st time being a full time Stay At Home Mom. We found out we were expecting baby number 3. I suffered depression during the 1st few months, then I found my comfort zone and gained weight (from being happy and pregnant!). Had baby, did Weight Watchers and become comfortable with my weight. Something still wasn't right and I needed more. I need a competition. I found a Then the business opportunity came. The business was a come and go for me. I didn't really want to do the business. Then I didn't trust the process. I had all these reason I was in and out. However, I enjoyed teaching others and watching them change. Last year my business took off, I took off and I was confidence I could make the move from Walla Walla, Washington to Sarasota, FL to open up my own club and build a business here. What I didn't know was how TOUGH this was going to be! Not just not tough via business but on my family. Dave gave up his job to support me. We gave up A LOT. However, things have changed. I have changed. I lost confidence. How could you not after being shut down, shut out and let down?!? It wasn't just that, I was telling myself this business wasn't for me. I was feeling guilty (still am) for feeling like I am giving up. However, I don't think I am giving up. I know deep down God put me here in FL for a reason. To open my eyes to paths I need to walk down. I recently started going boot camp classes that a couple does out of their home. Before that I went to a Charity Boot Camp they had MONTHS before with another Herbalife distributor. That Charity Boot Camp, open my eyes. That is what I wanted and the personal trainer idea pop up in my head again. Now that I am going to their boot camp to get a good booty kicking and starting to train with them, I am more driven to make that happen. Am I walking away from Herbalife? No! I will always use their products. I will always suggest to folks to use their products. Am I giving up on Coaching? NO!! (sorry guys! I know I am helping people rather others agree with it! I didn't just lose 115 pounds by being stupid. I have knowledge and experiences to share. No piece of paper is going to stop me from sharing or doing that!) So what I am I doing? Putting my family back together again. Putting myself back together again. I am trusting the process and allowing God to close doors and open others. Do I feel like a failure, SURE! Do I feel I let my husband down, YES! Do I feel like I screwed my kids up, OH YES! But that just means I need to work harder and dig deeper. I won't lie! It's hard to run down here and yes I still have a love and hate relationship with running! It's been a learning process with this whole running deal. Run with or without water? Run with a shirt on or just a sport bra? Find, buy and wear booty shorts or not? (Trust me, me in just a sport bra and booty shorts alone on the street would require major pep talk and glaases for those I blind that are driving by!) Run in the AM or PM? Run outdoors (risk the rain storm that will show up and feeling like I'm in a Suna) or run in a gym (be bored but yet entain by idiots but yet cool but yet bored!)? I've sucked it up and going outside! However I need to do more then 3 miles now, since a full marathon is 26.2 miles. So I geared up and told myself you can do 5/6 miles while G is a Girl Scout. WRONG! Let's just say I've leaned a few things: *you MUST eat! Always! *be hydrated BEFORE your run not during! *skip the protein bar just min before you run! *you really don't know miles and need to track out your plan before just assuming it's 5/6 miles (it was 3 AGAIN!). *you water on you for cool offs (never run without it in 89% humidity) *i need my 24 Prepare before, it never let's me down. *leave negativity at the door. This run was tough! I was heart broken on this night. My best running partner, Conner (our dog) had to be taken away. I was sad, mad, upset, and will piss off! While it was a crappy run it was much needed! I only wished I hadn't been so hard on myself and taken better care of my body that day. Don't give up! Coach, Lauren~ |
AuthorHI! I am Lauren! A women full of beautiful mess. Join me as I share my mess and journey. Archives
July 2019
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