The last couple of weeks at each training session, run, or boot camp I have found myself asking myself "How did I end up like this?". Last week training session, I was so upset with myself!! I was trying to fight back tears. Even Claire knew. She asked. I didn't want to reply (or maybe I couldn't because she was killing me!), but I'm done lying. I told her, "I'm piss! How could had done this to myself?!?" I can't remember what she said to be honest but it was enough to get me moving again. To be honest, I have always been weak. Even during my skinny dancing days! So each of these workouts should come hard for me! You know those kids in gym class (back when they actually did gym) that was swinging at the bottom of the ropes instead of climbing up? Ya that was me! I was also that girl who was running the tracks and coming in last! I was lazy but not lazy. I like to say I was weak and bad at sports! But dance, I could do! However today, dance seemed so long ago. When I do Zumba I look like Jim Carey in Ace Ventura! So how did a girl who danced for so many years, fairly active and busy working more then 1 job at a time end up at 276 pounds? 1.Sugar. My name is Lauren and I'm addicted to Sugar! No JOKE! Always have been. Then add my drinking habits after turning 21. 2. Food. I'm a foodie all the way! I love to cook, love to eat people cooking, love trying out restaurants. Name it I will be there to try it! Food is a passion of mine :/ 3. Emotional eater. Bad day? Eat sweets! Great day, go out to eat! Awesome day, celebrate with food and drinks. Sad, eat. Mad, eat. Tired, eat. Bored, eat. Celebrating, eat. See the pattern. 4. I felll in love. No I become comfortable around my love. Nuff said. (Sorry Dave!) 5. Worked office job (it was the joke, join our staff put on the Pamar 15) that supplied cakes for birthdays, ice cream for afternoon snacks, breakfast in the am, clients would bring in treats, and of course our staff meetings!! Then I worked evening jobs, fast food on the way and sweets on the way home. Bottom line, I was not educated. I am a addicted. Each day is a battle. But it's worth it! Now when I work out, I don't ask how I got there. I praise myself for being there. I can do push ups (not on your knees but the REAL ones!), I can run for miles, I can complete a class and not leave early, I can do burpees, I can squat without being in pain, and much more! I am stronger now then I was at 110 pounds and skinny. Now the question is, where do I go from here? What's next???
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AuthorHI! I am Lauren! A women full of beautiful mess. Join me as I share my mess and journey. Archives
July 2019
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