I am pretty sure we all struggle with who we are and who we are to be. I am a prime example of this. (Face it you are too) These past few months I have been helping a friend out with her weight lost/health journey. Little did she know she's been helping me. She is who I was many years ago. Along this journey with her, I am still mending to mine own journey. You can lose 100 pounds but still feel like that girl who was 100 pounds. I struggle daily not only with outside appearance but inside as well. This journey is not only to shed pounds but layers of skin aka inside pain. I've started training for my very first marathon. Oh man, I hate (HATE) running!!! However, it's been great therapy for me (and lets face it my booty is looking better daily, ha!!). My husband has been traveling for a year now. I won't lie, it's been challenging! It's been an ugly year. Dealing with some things with the kids, our marriage, regrets, guilt, and of course being lonely. I fell into an deep depression this Spring between my dad getting sick to spending time away on family vacation to coming back here in FL feeling like my world had fallen apart. Back in May, I had signed up for the Disney Run that is schedule for Jan. 2016. I knew I had no choice to start training, which has saved my life. While running you have A LOT of time to think (blah!). Often times, I would run and think: I can't do this I am not going to be able to complete 26.2 miles Why did I do the things I have done Why do I yell so much at my kids Where is my life going Who am I Are the kids happy What are we doing Is this marriage going to last What's next How am I going to cook, clean, and get everything done before kids get home Where are we going to live, do we travel with him, etc... Why did I make the mistakes I've made in my life Why can't I let things go Why is it easier for me to encourage someone else but not myself Why did God choose me to be these girls moms What can I do for the kids to make them happier, healthier, and love themselves Why can't Helena just sit down ;) Why does my almost 10 years old have to hit preteen so early Why does my middle one feel like she's not beautiful Then of course, God, Faith, Church... The list goes on and on.... Then this song comes on: Flawless by Mercy Me Things I have been telling my friend while she's on this journey. She's Flawless! You are who you are. Stop comparing yourself or your journey to others. It's your story. God story. You are meant to be imperfect. Nothing we do is going to change that. We are all a mess. We all have something going on, something we want to change, something we've done that we have regret. Until you let that go then nothing will change within you. That's when I knew, God was right there. He was telling me, so what about the bumps, the bruises, the scars, YOU ARE FLAWLESS in my eyes. Leave it at the cross and let me handle it. "Take a breath smile and say Right here right now I’m ok Because the cross was enough" As I start my run or my workouts, I play this song to remind myself, I am FLAWLESS. It's OK, I don't need to be fast, perfect, or tough. I play this song again as I get ready for the day. I don't need to have makeup on to workout (well maybe mascara, I can't just leave it behind), I don't have to worry about what others are going to think of me or my kids, and I don't have to worry about explaining myself to anyone. My bumps, my bruises and my scars are mine. They are a reminder of my journey and where I am going. They are also a reminder that I am a child of God. I am FLAWLESS and so are you! "No matter what they say
Or what you think you are The day you called His name He made you flawless He made you flawless No matter the bumps No matter the bruises No matter the scars Still the truth is The cross has made The cross has made you flawless" http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/mercyme/flawless.html
2 Comments
Kathy Nelson
10/5/2015 09:16:34 pm
Beautiful like you!
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Sarah Mann
10/14/2015 10:56:50 am
YOU LOOK AMAZING!!!! CONGRATS ON THE SUCCESS AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!! :)
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AuthorHI! I am Lauren! A women full of beautiful mess. Join me as I share my mess and journey. Archives
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