Raise your hand if you deal with trying to be socially accepted by others?? Or what about being accepted by your significant other family? What about your own family? Heck, what about at church? As many of you know I'm hearing impaired (not deaf!) as well suffer from a blindness condition called Usher Sydrome. Both are not physical disabilities so if you didn't know me you wouldn't know. Well unless it's dark because I do look silly when not in my surroundings ;) but then again you might think I'm drunk! Most people who don't know me assume I'm a snob or stuck up (been called worst but we will keep it clean). Little do they not know; chances are I didn't hear them or I can't hear what's going on because it's a crowded room. Because of this I have always been not socially accepted. I am often misunderstood and I'm often having to prove myself. More then that I'm often found trying to please people so that I can be accepted. It's not healthy! I was never "popular" but yet everyone knew me! I was bullied a lot and many days I just wanted to end it all. However, my parents taught me to stand on my own to feet and push past it. To not be a coward! Was it easy? Heck NO! At some point I seni-accepted who I was and if people likes me = GREAT! If not oh well. However, who am I kidding I was still a people pleaser. It did more harm then good! Then I met my husband. He has a BiG family, no I'm sorry HUGE! Walking into that family is no easy task! 14 years later it still isn't. I don't fit in and don't belong. Now don't get me wrong I love the ones who have loved me for me :) The last 5 years have been rough for both of us with his family. Finally (because I'm still this girl who feels we/I should be accepted) put on my big girls pants and reached out. 3 weeks later no respond. Then I saw something on FB "if you ask someone something and they don't reply, there is your answer.", BAM! Then I turned 34 the next day... Why do I write this? Because turning 34 was tough and rough for me! I am getting older in numbers. I don't want to waste my time pleasing folks or trying to get accepted! It's not healthy, you lose sleep, you over eat, you under eat, over workout, raise your blood pressure, and the moods (or fights) are not worth it. I want to enter my 40's saying in my 30's I was carefree, free spirited, happy, accomplish what I was set out to do and enjoyed my friends and family I do have! Time is precious. Today, look at what's you are trying to get accepted in this thing we call life and see if it's worth it. Embrace what you can't change and move forward... 💋
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AuthorHI! I am Lauren! A women full of beautiful mess. Join me as I share my mess and journey. Archives
July 2019
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