**Please note I have asked Dave and my girls if I could write this blog. They all have given me their permission and blessings** After 18 years of being together and 15 years of marriage…We are getting divorce. I don’t know how else to tell people this. What words do I use or what do I say? How to respond back when they ask why? I am sorry. What can I do? Nobody can prepare you for this. I will say this; who, what and why doesn’t really matter. What matter is our girls. 15 years ago around this time I was getting ready to get married. I was doing a lot of last minutes running around, paperwork and prepping for our honeymoon. 15 years later I am busy filling out paperwork for our children and assets. Meeting with lawyers. Preparing to become a full time single mom and employee. 15 years ago if you had told me this was going to be my new life; I would had laughed in your face. Or maybe I wouldn’t have because I had my own doubts 15 years ago. Truth to be told Dave and I fought more than any couple especially newlyweds should had fought. In fact the night of our wedding we got into a HUGE fight back in our hotel room and again the next morning. I spent the morning crying on the way to my parent’s house when we had to pretend we were this happy married couple! Another truth to be told, we fought the 1st 3 days of our honeymoon and spent time not talking. Was it a sign? I don’t know. Do I regret getting married, no! One day our story will unfold but for right now it doesn’t matter why… I’ve been blessed with 3 beautiful babies. 3 babies I was told I would never be able to have. We’ve been blessed to have traveled to so many amazing places and make some pretty awesome friends. I’ve been blessed to experience life with my kids’ hands on. I was blessed to work full time and support Dave while he went to school Full time. I’ve been blessed to Stay Home too. I’ve been blessed with a comfortable life and experiences too! Did we give up without trying? Absolutely not! We have tried everything. Some more than others but we tried. Regardless to what happened, we are trying our best to be friends for our girls. We actually do better as friends. We will ALWAYS be a family no matter what! We are blessed to be in this new culture of Co-Parenting. Instead of teaching our kids hate and angry we are trying our best even on our worst days to show them love and peace. Even if Dave and I can’t be friends, we will be a family for our girls. I wasn’t going to share as I believe marriage/divorce is a private matter. However, so many of you have been asking for the last 2 years. I got sick of hiding it. I got sick of pretending. Because as you all know I share. I am real. I am raw. I am a writer. This is how I heal. Do I feel broken; yes. Did Dave break me; not 100%. Do I feel I’ve failed? 100% but not myself; I feel I’ve failed my parent, both of our families, our girls and my friends. However each day brings new emotions and a new sense of hope. We hope and pray that our families and friends will stand behind us and support us. Rather you agree or don’t; keep it to yourself. Don’t be sorry for us! I pray that we can began the healing and rebuild ourselves back up. I can’t speak for Dave but I know I have a lot of work cut out for me as I work on myself and heal. I pray the girls just know how loved they are by both of us and our support system! We may or may not find love again; when we do I pray they are patience with us, accept our whole family and treat our girls well. For now we began healing, moving forward and learning our new normal. Not much will change on our end since Dave will be traveling and staying in TX still. He’s doing great at his job and we couldn’t be happier for him! He will see the girls more if anything as he will get them every other weekend if Dance and Cheer allows it. The girls and I will stay here in OK as we have fallen in love with our new lives here (well the girls have. I am slowly getting there still lol!). The girls are MORE THEN OK! They just want their mom and dad happy J So yes, we are getting divorce. The reasons don’t matter but our children and our happiness do. I know in due time we will all get there! For today, just keep praying we can heal and continue to be a family. Xoxo -Lauren
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorHI! I am Lauren! A women full of beautiful mess. Join me as I share my mess and journey. Archives
July 2019
Categories |